Especially the “relapse.” You feel like you’re doing well & you’re becoming more secure, you’re doing the exercises, the mental check-ins, and all the “work” people tell you to do. And don’t get me wrong, that stuff does help.
But then a trigger hits, and it feels like you’re right back at square one. Whether it’s an argument, something said, or even something not done, the spiral begins. You start ruminating, & if I’m being honest….you start becoming almost manipulative toward your partner to get the reassurance you’re starving for.
When I’m in an anxious state, a kiss is no longer just a kiss. It becomes a mental metric used to calculate if they still want to be with me.
I start spiraling over the data “That kiss didn’t seem enthusiastic enough.” Or “He didn’t kiss me the way he usually does in the morning.” Or “He seems standoffish today, is he pulling away?”
I create these entire scenarios in my head that drive me mad. Some people try to put a positive spin on anxious attachment. I’ve seen ppl calling it “high attunement” or “deep empathy..
Personally I struggle to see the silver lining. To me, it’s just pure, unadulterated mental exhaustion.
